Monthly Archives: February 2014

The Perfumed Dandy’s Scent Today…… Ivoire de Balmain

As big as hair that’s been well and truly Dynasty styled.

A scent backcombed with aldehydes and lacquered with chamomile.

Oakmoss and other accords, some as cold as the war then raging, others hot like carnation pepper or silly spicy with nutmeg and apple pie cinnamon.

A complex creation so typical of the age that gave birth to it…

Can it still perform perfume pirouettes and astound with scented stag leaps through the air?

Following its selection by your good selves in yesterday’s snap vote, The Perfumed Dandy will now take a few days to deliberate and cogitate the merits and mischiefs of this fragrance fair or foul and will, in due course, provide his report on relations with the new discovery by means of a scented letter.

Another opportunity to place a new perfume on The Dandy‘s skin will arise with the next instalment of The Perfumed Dandy’s Hit Parade.

In the meantime if you would like to thrust forward a fragrance for future fame on The Hit Parade simply visit ‘Suggest and old scent or recommend a new one’ and leave your suggestion there.

Have an especially fragrant day.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

12 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

She knows her own mind… Knowing by Estee Lauder The Perfumed Dandy’s Scented Letter

A modern and modernist rose, with thorns, and a robust constitution too… just the thing to stand up to the sort of climate we’re enjoying in some parts of the world! Hope you’re enjoying the bouquet…

theperfumeddandy's avatarThe Perfumed Dandy.

Being used to having all matter of things pretty much all her own way in the office, she wasn’t about to let a silly thing like March frosts come between her and her early blooming roses.

Of course she had space neither for a hothouse nor a conservatory, in fact she had no outside space at all.

But there was her building’s stairwell: that would do well enough, glazed as it was all the way up in its austere modernist symmetry.

Surely even her tedious co-operative co-members couldn’t object to being cajoled into allowing a little natural beauty into the clear lines and white space of their shared world, she decided.

The man at the flower store had advised a miniature variety would be best. She told him, a jovial, handsome but small framed man of Greek extraction, that she didn’t want anything ‘squat squatting on my steps’.

View original post 594 more words

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Ostrich feathers flying… Midnight Oud by Juliette Has A Gun The Perfumed Dandy’s Rose Scented Letter

Back in what she fancifully, but belligerently calls her boudoir, she unhooks her suspenders.

Throws the pair of blood splattered silks over the back of a San Francisco French chair, unwinds her stays, releases her bodice, allows her legs to escape from clouds of petticoats and then, only then, undoes her holster.

The colt is oily, smoky, sweaty.

Animal.

All despite the mother of pearl handle she has had put on it.

Under the unlocked door she hears the bar room brawl she has left behind downstairs begin to die.

She killed it with a shot straight through the ceiling and into the sky.

Then she fled the scene: left her spot empty on the stage.

She will sing while they swig whisky, play cards, ogle the girls and spit tobacco. But she will not exercise her lungs while they are throwing punches.

They protested. Howled for their princesses’ return. One pretender grabbed at her. She kicked him.

He spat out a tooth and some ‘Kensington Gore’.

That was her mother’s name for blood. Well, all unwanted bodily effusions.

‘Kensington Gore’. A street name back in London, so she thought, somewhere fancy, by where the Great Exhibition was.

She died on the boat. Her mother. No joke, you know, in steerage.

Next to the gun on her ‘chateau dresser’, another piece of City on the Bay faux Frenchery, is her most precious Gallic frippery, though this one is the real deal.

Perfume straight from Paris.

Squeezing the puffer between her hard working hands she elicits a whole atmosphere’s worth of aroma to surround herself with.

The roses she can remember, just, from a childhood evading coppers in Covent Garden. Her mother amongst the flower girls a woman with something else entirely to sell.

Above it is another odour that she does not know but recognises as expensive.

The salesman says its saffron, he might be lying. She doesn’t honestly care.

When she wears her fine French fragrance she feels as though she’s singing arias in an Opera House.

Truly, she knows its two dime melodies she murders for the drunken cowhands out for a handful of flesh, a skinful of liquor and fight that are her crowd.

If the wind changes she can even smell them above her expensive scent.

They are her tragedy and her making.

Oh, one knows, we are just so over oud.

And oud with rose? Yawn. Patchouli too? The eyes do droop.

Even a generous handful of saffron does little to awaken.

Beaver, musk and amber?

Okay, so there’s a flicker.

But, I’ve news…

Midnight Oud by Juliette Has A Gun is the Ethel Merman of Rose Oud Aromas.

This is an undisputed Broadway belter of a perfume that owes its roots to rougher days when scents had to practically scream to make themselves heard.

Now, to be fair that this is no high-pitched affair.

Quite the contrary, like the Wild-West-saloon-turned-Vaudeville star of latter years of which this is the undoubted olfactory equivalent the tone is low, smoky, if not rich then razor-blade-gargling husky.

At the opening we get the smallest burst of citrus, a good spoonful of saffron and immediately the first rose.

Then within seconds the oud arrives.

To my mind this is a smoked, slightly metallic and very animalic oud. It is improved no end by and adopts many characteristics of the notes around it. Both the aforementioned and a second sweeter Moroccan rose, a dark oily patchouli, definite glandular animalics and salt and pepper supplied by geranium and amber.

IMG_20130627_174341

At heart this is a rich, voluptuous, décolletage-on-display rose perfume wrapped up in a scaffolding oud and saffron bodice, the bloom bosom always desperate to escape that which holds it in.

I’ve heard it called a rock and roll scent. I’d say it was more music hall.

More ‘a little of what you fancy does you good’, or, to be frank, rather too much of what you thought you didn’t fancy is very good.

Chaotic, aggressive, camp and rather uncontrolled this is a rose off the rails!

Juliette May Well Have A Gun and she would seem to be as equally pleased to see girls and boys with friend in tow.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Think… Pretty in Pink by Pell Wall Perfumes The Perfumed Dandy’s Festival of Roses Part I

Starting with a lily, not in the least funereal but as innocent as lace trim on a summer linen dress, this is a sweet contrivance of a scent: a fugue on youth’s pleasures made fragrant.

In that floral garland at the top is a little citrus, a touch of menthol, the kind of complex smell that emanates from a rose cultivated for aroma over appearance.

In its botanical veracity this perfume may appear simple, but these antique roses rarely are straightforward, and in that apparent single flower resides jasmine, bitter orange flower and not a little violet too. IMG_20130627_174033

Then things open out in a subtle but entrancing way.

A dolls house icing sugar snow storm comprised of the unsweet sweet powder that dusts the best Turkish delight. Then on an instant a teenage girl at the cusp of adulthood swirls on an English lawn, her skirt and arms trail across a bush of prize roses.

They give their scent involuntarily to her burgeoning beauty.

All of this. All of this, but in a hush.

A quiet perfume the whole while this one. Rose flavoured ice cream and deluxe antique scented moisturiser are equal partners in the next part of the performance; a little vanilla here, some sandalwood and clean musk there.

This phase, with subtle well-mannered florals, like a polite tea fete in the background, lingers longest, before drying down to a pleasant almost old-fashioned gentlemanly shaving soap smell. Pretty In Pink, conjures with olfactory accords that are the equivalent of the Edwardian images familiar from Forster’s novels made film and television costume dramas.

That is not to say that this is an old-fashioned perfume, not at all, for every generation re-invents the past in its own image.

It is a delicate portrait of what it feels to be young and free and rather innocent and at the start of an awfully big adventure.

A perfect gift for a first sweetheart. Pell Wall Perfumes is a very small British producer, so small in fact that some of the petals for this perfume are picked in the perfumer’s own Shropshire garden.

I have highlighted their very fine fragrances before I do so again without hesitation.

British Garden Partywhat an excellent way to start the festivities!

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Let the blooming good times begin… The Perfumed Dandy’s Festival of Roses

IMG_20130627_182421 Fairest Flower Tops

I make no apologies or bones about it…

I am The Dandy and I reserve my right to like, nay adore a rose if I wish to, and I do!

IMG_20130627_181715

Therefore, between now and St Valentine’s Day I declare a minor festival or Fetes des Roses!

Over the next eight days I shall be picking out some favourite fragrances that bare a trace of the Queen of Flowers for slither-like slight reviews.

I shall also be posting a few long-overdue scented letters that bear the aroma of these most opulent corollas.

And, if you crave my indulgence, I will also re-post a few of my favourite musings on perfumes with that certain Elizabethan something.

IMG_20130627_181412

Let the merriment commence on the morrow!!!

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy. The Perfumed Dandy

16 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Both secret and double… L’Agent by Agent Provocateur The Perfumed Dandy’s Scented Letter

“She isn’t even beautiful”

Women, a few of them friends, and some men say.

“That isn’t the point.” Others counter in a knowing way.

“She’s so… attractive, enticing, those curves, that… hell she’s irresistible!”

So explodes one more man she’s made her unconscious prey.

She starts a little prickly: a smiling rebuff, a comment just tetchy enough to incite a little interest.

The verbal equivalent in a modern day format of a puff on a cigarette blown into an admirer’s face made thirty feet high on a forties silver screen.

She’s a leading lady from a different era, a heroine from women’s pictures transplanted to a post-feminist age.

If a man tells a joke she’s not averse to laughing at it funny or no. It’s not the humour that elicits the chuckle but whether the guffaw will get her ahead.

It’s not even as though she’s calculating, cerebrally speaking: she was simply born and raised with an attitude to please in a manner best suited to her own advantage.

Some people scream…

“It’s so old-fashioned!”

Somehow they feel she demeans, her own sex, perhaps both.

Yet when it comes to sex, it’s where she harks back to past decorum most.

For though she fulfils the ideal of many men’s desires, she knows far better than to allow these urges to be translated to the physical too often than would be good for her and her reputation.

For she is known as a flirt.

She is the ultimate tease.

Knowing silk stockings and suspenders in a world of leggings and skinny jeans.

And what If she has a PhD?

So do hundreds of historians. They simply can’t or won’t play the coquette in a cocktail dress!

If they’re not prepared to sandwich themselves between the lugubrious professor and the oleaginous tv producer, cheer one and charm the other’s ego then they mustn’t cry to her to when she’s promoted, or published or appointed to an expert panel.

Because, she isn’t beautiful, and hasn’t ever claimed to be.

But she is astoundingly attractive and clever, enticing too.

She has worked at those curves and, if she’s irresistible, it’s because she’s made herself that way.

L’Agent by Agent Provocateur is no masterpiece perfume.

It is however an adult, sophisticated, well made, pretty and pretty damned alluring scent of the sort modern fragrance manufacturers seem to have so much trouble making.

For producing such a solid not to say seductive, hard-working and wearable piece of perfume, hats off to all concerned!

The opening is interesting: an unusual twist of spice, set against a slightly off key ylang ylang, which is rather pleasant and then a left field note, the angelica listed perhaps? All of which leaves one little unsettled, in a good way, like adjusting to the conversational style of someone who emphatically does not do small talk after an hour at a cocktail party.

The heart is more familiar territory: a smoky, resinous, floral, amber with a touch of powder.

As befits a lingerie manufacturer this is a scent with a distinct tang of the boudoir.

What is unusual is the just how well done, how balanced and poised this familiar accord is. There is depth to the smoke with has a blue, thick quality no doubt heightened by the myrrh which is sweet but not too much so.

The same goes for the amber, which though not sea-like does retain something of salt about it. The patchouli, thankfully, remains very much in the background.

As for the florals, they never really come to the fore, but are always present, especially the rose, which has something of the quality of that aroma one associates with certain fine face creams. The effect again, is just-so, adding a lightness and frivolity to a fragrance that might otherwise be too deep and dark for everyday wear.

All of which brings me back again to notion of well-executed, thought through and thoroughly well balanced perfume.


L’Agent is self-aware without being self-conscious, self-assured but not arrogant, self-possessed but anything but up tight.

It’s an excellent scent for anyone with a personality to match!

A quick aside, I feel this perfume works particularly well on male skin.

Indeed, I’d go so far as to say that if Agent Provocateur had, with the tiniest tinkering to the opening, marketed this to men they might have had a rather large hit on their hands.

Not that I think in any way it’s not lovely on women. It is.

That’s all.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

15 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Is it even acceptable to receive scent…? The Perfumed Dandy’s Fragrant Forum

Friends, Fragrance Fiends, Lovers everywhere

These next twelve days , will, so a friend at one of the world’s very most famous department stores tells me, represent the most frenzied period of perfume buying of the entire year.

More scent will be sold than on all the advent days in the immediate run up to Christmas.

More bottles will be boxed, wrapped and dispatched than for all the birthdays in the year combined.

And for why?

Well, St Valentine’s, bien sur!

It is the doing of that old King of Hearts himself.

So this week a simple, well near simple question.

Do you like receiving scent as a gift?

Has The Dandy gone mad? I hear you ask in turn… for are we not all more than a little partial to perfume to say the least.

But consider this proposition…

How do you feel when someone buys you a scent unsolicited, as a surprise, that you haven’t chosen or at least advised on?

Ah! A little tougher now perhaps? Or perhaps not. Possibly we’re an easy going crowd, happy to have our senses tingled by the tastes of others…

Open to olfactory experiences from all directions!

Do tell. Do.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

30 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Aristocratic expressions of… Joy by Jean Patou The Perfumed Dandy’s Scented Letter

How can a woman so cleanly, clearly beautiful be so irredeemably and irresistibly impure?

For make no mistake, resistance, in this case, is utterly useless.

She is the latter day Lavinia Fenton.

Intent, with guile, a winning smile and her favours to climb every greasy pole, ascend every golden stair.

To gain preferment, forge friendships, collect hearts and break them.

Look at her.

At first she appears an art deco styled Duchess of Cleveland.

Arms and neck architectural in their elongation, movements languid yet elegant: expressive in their extension.

Her costume, no mere clothes for her, is remarkable.

She is dressed in a contemporary parody of a 1970s pastiche of jazz age ‘bright young things’ got up as Stuart and Georgian anti-heroines.

She is the culmination of all things courtesan.

An apotheosis of polite near prostitution.

A perfect specimen of a kept woman set free by her own cleverness and incredible good looks.

The shrew too shrewd to be tamed.

She may enter a room alone, but she is never unaccompanied.

Invisible courtiers go everywhere with her to carry an unseen train of ermine and shower her procession in white flower petals on the cusp of putrefaction.

The peerless peeress of the plausible arts of the flesh, her function and her triumph is to beget pleasure.

Sullied, superior, imperious, delirious.

She is the bringer of Joy.

Joy by Jean Patou is all fur coat and indolic white flowers.

The perfume that claimed once to be the world’s most expensive remains, at least in versions more than a couple of decades old, one of fragrance’s most expansive contradictions.

A collision of sharp edges at the opening with a Rubenesque surfeit of fragrant flesh lying within.

We start with a slightly mentholated tuberose, not quite camphorous, bleached ylang ylang and razor aldehydes. There may even be a hint of high pitched musk here too, though I would not declare with certainty on this point.

Then the fat ladies arrive and dominate the tableau fragrant.

Yes, there is the legendary civet note, not nearly so dirty as some unaccustomed to it would have one believe, merely sexily unwashed. But also the turning, part faecal, part fecund jasmine that permeates all parts of the perfume and is at least the equal signature.

Another force to be reckoned with is a slightly rotten rose. A bloom late in the season, when the ripeness of the scent and the decaying greenness of the leaves come together to create a decadent accord that is appealing but deathly.

IMG_20130703_103745

Appropriate really, for this is unmistakably a femme fatale fragrance.

Indeed it has the endless staying power of a legendary lover whose amorous advances have the capacity to kill.

Joy is no common trollop to be cast aside once momentary passion is spent.

This is a scent with grand designs on a lasting tryst: remaining powerfully on the skin for a dozen hours, veering from floral to animal, but never straying from excess.

Yes, excess, paired with restraint.

There we have it, that contradiction again, the paradox perfume:

Joy is a smell for the badly behaved that is ever so, ever so good.

An uncrowned Queen of an aroma.

What of the latest formulation I hear you ask?

I’m afraid it seems to have been washed detergently bland.

It offers a laundry fresh opening that is too literal and harsh, and frankly done better elsewhere for much less money.

In the heart it opens up into a well-meaning and broadly drawn floral with considerable aldehyde heft…. But where is the animal?

All the fur, fun and life is gone.

Stick with the vintage, if you possibly can.

It’s good to be back.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

21 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized