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Both secret and double… L’Agent by Agent Provocateur The Perfumed Dandy’s Scented Letter

“She isn’t even beautiful”

Women, a few of them friends, and some men say.

“That isn’t the point.” Others counter in a knowing way.

“She’s so… attractive, enticing, those curves, that… hell she’s irresistible!”

So explodes one more man she’s made her unconscious prey.

She starts a little prickly: a smiling rebuff, a comment just tetchy enough to incite a little interest.

The verbal equivalent in a modern day format of a puff on a cigarette blown into an admirer’s face made thirty feet high on a forties silver screen.

She’s a leading lady from a different era, a heroine from women’s pictures transplanted to a post-feminist age.

If a man tells a joke she’s not averse to laughing at it funny or no. It’s not the humour that elicits the chuckle but whether the guffaw will get her ahead.

It’s not even as though she’s calculating, cerebrally speaking: she was simply born and raised with an attitude to please in a manner best suited to her own advantage.

Some people scream…

“It’s so old-fashioned!”

Somehow they feel she demeans, her own sex, perhaps both.

Yet when it comes to sex, it’s where she harks back to past decorum most.

For though she fulfils the ideal of many men’s desires, she knows far better than to allow these urges to be translated to the physical too often than would be good for her and her reputation.

For she is known as a flirt.

She is the ultimate tease.

Knowing silk stockings and suspenders in a world of leggings and skinny jeans.

And what If she has a PhD?

So do hundreds of historians. They simply can’t or won’t play the coquette in a cocktail dress!

If they’re not prepared to sandwich themselves between the lugubrious professor and the oleaginous tv producer, cheer one and charm the other’s ego then they mustn’t cry to her to when she’s promoted, or published or appointed to an expert panel.

Because, she isn’t beautiful, and hasn’t ever claimed to be.

But she is astoundingly attractive and clever, enticing too.

She has worked at those curves and, if she’s irresistible, it’s because she’s made herself that way.

L’Agent by Agent Provocateur is no masterpiece perfume.

It is however an adult, sophisticated, well made, pretty and pretty damned alluring scent of the sort modern fragrance manufacturers seem to have so much trouble making.

For producing such a solid not to say seductive, hard-working and wearable piece of perfume, hats off to all concerned!

The opening is interesting: an unusual twist of spice, set against a slightly off key ylang ylang, which is rather pleasant and then a left field note, the angelica listed perhaps? All of which leaves one little unsettled, in a good way, like adjusting to the conversational style of someone who emphatically does not do small talk after an hour at a cocktail party.

The heart is more familiar territory: a smoky, resinous, floral, amber with a touch of powder.

As befits a lingerie manufacturer this is a scent with a distinct tang of the boudoir.

What is unusual is the just how well done, how balanced and poised this familiar accord is. There is depth to the smoke with has a blue, thick quality no doubt heightened by the myrrh which is sweet but not too much so.

The same goes for the amber, which though not sea-like does retain something of salt about it. The patchouli, thankfully, remains very much in the background.

As for the florals, they never really come to the fore, but are always present, especially the rose, which has something of the quality of that aroma one associates with certain fine face creams. The effect again, is just-so, adding a lightness and frivolity to a fragrance that might otherwise be too deep and dark for everyday wear.

All of which brings me back again to notion of well-executed, thought through and thoroughly well balanced perfume.


L’Agent is self-aware without being self-conscious, self-assured but not arrogant, self-possessed but anything but up tight.

It’s an excellent scent for anyone with a personality to match!

A quick aside, I feel this perfume works particularly well on male skin.

Indeed, I’d go so far as to say that if Agent Provocateur had, with the tiniest tinkering to the opening, marketed this to men they might have had a rather large hit on their hands.

Not that I think in any way it’s not lovely on women. It is.

That’s all.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Is it even acceptable to receive scent…? The Perfumed Dandy’s Fragrant Forum

Friends, Fragrance Fiends, Lovers everywhere

These next twelve days , will, so a friend at one of the world’s very most famous department stores tells me, represent the most frenzied period of perfume buying of the entire year.

More scent will be sold than on all the advent days in the immediate run up to Christmas.

More bottles will be boxed, wrapped and dispatched than for all the birthdays in the year combined.

And for why?

Well, St Valentine’s, bien sur!

It is the doing of that old King of Hearts himself.

So this week a simple, well near simple question.

Do you like receiving scent as a gift?

Has The Dandy gone mad? I hear you ask in turn… for are we not all more than a little partial to perfume to say the least.

But consider this proposition…

How do you feel when someone buys you a scent unsolicited, as a surprise, that you haven’t chosen or at least advised on?

Ah! A little tougher now perhaps? Or perhaps not. Possibly we’re an easy going crowd, happy to have our senses tingled by the tastes of others…

Open to olfactory experiences from all directions!

Do tell. Do.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Aristocratic expressions of… Joy by Jean Patou The Perfumed Dandy’s Scented Letter

How can a woman so cleanly, clearly beautiful be so irredeemably and irresistibly impure?

For make no mistake, resistance, in this case, is utterly useless.

She is the latter day Lavinia Fenton.

Intent, with guile, a winning smile and her favours to climb every greasy pole, ascend every golden stair.

To gain preferment, forge friendships, collect hearts and break them.

Look at her.

At first she appears an art deco styled Duchess of Cleveland.

Arms and neck architectural in their elongation, movements languid yet elegant: expressive in their extension.

Her costume, no mere clothes for her, is remarkable.

She is dressed in a contemporary parody of a 1970s pastiche of jazz age ‘bright young things’ got up as Stuart and Georgian anti-heroines.

She is the culmination of all things courtesan.

An apotheosis of polite near prostitution.

A perfect specimen of a kept woman set free by her own cleverness and incredible good looks.

The shrew too shrewd to be tamed.

She may enter a room alone, but she is never unaccompanied.

Invisible courtiers go everywhere with her to carry an unseen train of ermine and shower her procession in white flower petals on the cusp of putrefaction.

The peerless peeress of the plausible arts of the flesh, her function and her triumph is to beget pleasure.

Sullied, superior, imperious, delirious.

She is the bringer of Joy.

Joy by Jean Patou is all fur coat and indolic white flowers.

The perfume that claimed once to be the world’s most expensive remains, at least in versions more than a couple of decades old, one of fragrance’s most expansive contradictions.

A collision of sharp edges at the opening with a Rubenesque surfeit of fragrant flesh lying within.

We start with a slightly mentholated tuberose, not quite camphorous, bleached ylang ylang and razor aldehydes. There may even be a hint of high pitched musk here too, though I would not declare with certainty on this point.

Then the fat ladies arrive and dominate the tableau fragrant.

Yes, there is the legendary civet note, not nearly so dirty as some unaccustomed to it would have one believe, merely sexily unwashed. But also the turning, part faecal, part fecund jasmine that permeates all parts of the perfume and is at least the equal signature.

Another force to be reckoned with is a slightly rotten rose. A bloom late in the season, when the ripeness of the scent and the decaying greenness of the leaves come together to create a decadent accord that is appealing but deathly.

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Appropriate really, for this is unmistakably a femme fatale fragrance.

Indeed it has the endless staying power of a legendary lover whose amorous advances have the capacity to kill.

Joy is no common trollop to be cast aside once momentary passion is spent.

This is a scent with grand designs on a lasting tryst: remaining powerfully on the skin for a dozen hours, veering from floral to animal, but never straying from excess.

Yes, excess, paired with restraint.

There we have it, that contradiction again, the paradox perfume:

Joy is a smell for the badly behaved that is ever so, ever so good.

An uncrowned Queen of an aroma.

What of the latest formulation I hear you ask?

I’m afraid it seems to have been washed detergently bland.

It offers a laundry fresh opening that is too literal and harsh, and frankly done better elsewhere for much less money.

In the heart it opens up into a well-meaning and broadly drawn floral with considerable aldehyde heft…. But where is the animal?

All the fur, fun and life is gone.

Stick with the vintage, if you possibly can.

It’s good to be back.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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The vermilion room… Cinnabar by Estee Lauder The Perfumed Dandy’s Classic Collection

Happy Chinese New Year All! A memory from a different time not that long ago, when the east seemed terrifically far away. I hope to be fully back in touch soon. Yours ever, The Perfumed Dandy

theperfumeddandy's avatarThe Perfumed Dandy.

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She wasn’t a grade school teacher always. This woman has a past.

Taking a break from marking books of summer holiday reminiscences rendered in schoolboy scrawl, she decides to look again at the photographs.

Just five years after Nixon, she too went to China. It was ’78 and the next year an embassy would open in what everybody still called Peeking then.

Someone had to ready it for the arrivals.

Who better than the wife of the man who would be first cultural attache to the land of the Cultural Revolution?

In an uncommon moment of decor diplomacy, it was decided to break from American tradition: to forgo a little piece of the Uncle Sam overseas. Local sensitivities relating to cultural imperialism were judged to preclude the parochial neo-classicism of a White House away from home.

So the style would be Sino- American, through and through.

In the photographs, honeyed…

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A scent that can keep you company…… The Perfumed Dandy’s Weekend Forum

Dandy Calling

Still somewhat disconnected here dear friends, so I will make the most of my very momentary internet connection to ask a question most appropriate to my current isolated condition…

Do you have a favourite perfume to wear when you are alone?

Is there a scent that keeps you company?

Tomorrow the repair men come and I hope I will have more than moments in cafes to keep in touch.

Until then tootle-pip.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Dandy, Interrupted: Disconnected The Perfumed Dandy’s Internet Exile

Pride before a fall dear friends.

Pride before a fall.

Hubris as the Ancient Greeks would have it.

Only a few days ago your Dandy was celebrating 500 with a fanfare, then…

… well, something sinister happened with the telegraph lines and ever since I’m been persona non gratis so far as broadband is concerned.

Normally I would have found refuge in a wireless library to continue my scribblings but a busy time buzzing around has not allowed.

So apologies for nor delivering JOY as promised, it will follow as soon as normal service is restored.

I blame myself for being such an…

Between now and tomorrow when next a friendly cafe calls, au revoir and take care.

I will of course be in touch on twitter and facebook, dearest smartphone hasn’t let me down.

Doesn’t it feel odd to be out of touch this way? Cast adrift!

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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The Perfumed Dandy’s Scent Today…… JOY by Jean Patou

There is only one Joy…

… the costliest perfume in the world?

So read the copy of a scent so good they had to render its name in capitals.

Today it may be pure soap opera, but in the old version The Dandy has will it prove to ever so grand?

Oh please let it be so and then JOY will truly be without end!

Following its selection by your good selves in yesterday’s snap vote, The Perfumed Dandy will now take a few days to deliberate and cogitate the merits and mischiefs of this fragrance fair or foul and will, in due course, provide his report on relations with the new discovery by means of a scented letter.

Another opportunity to place a new perfume on The Dandy‘s skin will arise with the next instalment of The Perfumed Dandy’s Hit Parade.

In the meantime if you would like to thrust forward a fragrance for future fame on The Hit Parade simply visit ‘Suggest and old scent or recommend a new one’ and leave your suggestion there.

Have an especially fragrant day.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Cinquecento! The Perfumed Dandy is 500 Today!

Dearest Fluff-bundles

The Dandy is 500 today!

Not years, you understand, though sometimes it can feel that way, but posts.

Who knew?

Certainly not I, until yesterday when the number 499 loomed as I popped up the poll for today’s perfume.

So that means 117 Hit Parades, nearly as many scents of the day, interviews, selections, musings, photographs galore and by my reckoning over 130 scented letters too… yes all adding up to a great quincentennial.

By way of celebration today’s perfumed picked by your fair hands will be subject to an especially speedy epistle and the scented letter will be with you tomorrow!

How’s that for super fast service?!?

But what will it be…?  That news to follow soon.

In the meantime I may just pop a cork or two…

Here’s to many hundreds more!

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Which ‘ladies’ scent’ will this gent wear next? The Perfumed Dandy’s Hit Parade #117

The Perfumed Dandy’s first Hit Parade for 21st Januray 2014

As you know by now… The Perfumed Dandy is your ever faithful servant, always ready to take on the most fearsome of fragrant tasks on your behalf.

The Perfumed Dandy’s Hit Parade is yet more evidence of his loyalty and unstinting labours…

This crop of finely crafted fragrances represents the most popular perfumes put forward for The Perfumed Dandy‘s perusal by you good people here and on the other most venerable and sweetly scented websites known to man.

Simply cast your vote for any of the candidates from the sumptuously smelling selection below by responding to this post.

Every vote means that the scent in question takes a step nearer to getting on to my skin.

The winning perfume will be worn by The Perfumed Dandy at the next possible opportunity after which I will report back on our relations, in breathtaking detail, for your hopeful edification.

The choice is yours… what scent will The Dandy wear next TOMORROW, Wednesday 22nd January 2014?

Make your choice from the star spangled list below… a snap vote, so which ever comes out top in the next 24 hours will be worn!

Fame by Lady Gaga

Cristale Noir by Versace

Noa by Cacharel

Madness by Chopard

La Myrrhe by Serge Lutens

Loverdose by Diesel

Paris by Yves Saint Laurent

Ivoire by Pierre Balmain

Zinnia by Floris

Or the newcomer…

Joy by Patou

You have until 1200 hours tomorrow (that’s midday in ordinary speak) Greenwich Mean Time, when the polls close in London, to cast your two votes.

The winner will be announced with due fanfare around teatime GMT!!

Don’t forget that to nominate a fragrance for inclusion on this list of all time favourites you can simply visit ‘Suggest a new scent or recommend an old one’

Have an especially fragrant day.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

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Industrial Perfumes The Perfumed Dandy’s Unusual Weekend Break

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The Dandy was away at the weekend.

Though this time I found a succour in an unusual setting.

Not the countryside where I normally seek repose, but amongst the great rusting remnants of the original epoch of industrialisation.

To Manchester.

Cradle of the first wave of the factory age, which they tell us may now be coming to an end.

It’s viaducts, locks and piers, great mills and brick warehouses, unwanted freight railways and miles and miles of canals are the Roman ruins of the future scattered about us today.

If only we take the time to look…

Then it got me thinking, something I once read… could there be such a thin as Industrial Perfume?

Purple Under Sides

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Estee by Estee Lauder

Shop bought glamour for stolen kisses and unwise fumbles under the freeway flyover.

Oakmoss. Aldehydes. Coriander.

Steely hearts and unheard squeals.

Something Old, Something New

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Calandre by Paco Rabanne

Aluminium stiletto heels grind make up powders made of sacred glass into disco floors in warehouse clubs.

No one cares. They dance till dawn.

Hidden Green, Never Seen

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Futur by Robert Piguet

Antique idea of l’avenir that never came to pass.

Chartreuse no parts chlorophyll three parts chlorine.

Toxic temptation.

Flash car, fire escape...

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Mitsouko by Guerlain

Petroleum and decaying peach. The high life and the backstreet.

Perfectly tuned engine. Runs like a dream. Ride anything but smooth.

Castles In The Air

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Eau de Campagne by Sisley

Grab a bit of country air where you can find it.

Canalside, you can be lord of the manor, raise tomato plants and basil bushes.

View your lemon trees from castellated towers. Sundays only.

The Sea, Wholesale

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Womanity by Thierry Mugler

Crude humour. Blue joke.

Well told. Widely copied.

In questionable taste.

Games Without Frontiers

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Les Jeux sont Faits by Jovoy

Rum for Dad. Gin for Mum. Mother’s ruined already.

Heady, fruity cocktail consumed in a smoke filled bar.

Followed by a curry.

Saturday night on a production line.

Once More Under The Bridge, Dear Friends

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Higher by Dior

Merry on perry for the first time.

Electric shell suits fizzing static.

Zips slip easily, tongues entwine.

French kissing in a Northern style.

Printers’ Ink, Queen’s Cream

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M/Mink by Byredo

Liquid words with raw honey.

Crude oil of the mind.

Hot metal. Cool fumes.

An eclectic Monday to start a somewhat unusual week *he winks*.

Hope you like the snaps and scents.

Yours ever

The Perfumed Dandy.

The Perfumed Dandy

 

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